These past few days I’ve felt a great amount of disappointment and frustration. In brief, I worked 5+ hours helping to promote an event and was never paid. It’s not a great amount of money to settle a small claim in court or anything like that – but of course it made me feel extremely frustrated with this person I worked for. As well as disappointed in myself for trusting this person.
More events took place this week, that just made me flat out upset but it got me thinking of ways to heal and move on. Here is how I am and how you can as well.
Have an open conversation
Each day I’m learning to be more open and honest with people. I use to think confrontation was something bad and awkward to do. However, I now know that confrontation is needed to solve any and all issues.
You’re not being “high maintenance” or a “bitch”. I think if someone values you, they should be more than willing to talk with you.
And that’s the key – talk with them, not to them.
No need to point your finger and list everything they’ve done wrong, but a conversation where you both are listening.
I had a conversation with that person who didn’t pay me. I was detailed why I deserved to be paid. Although I thought he lacked a legit reason why I shouldn’t be paid, I allowed myself to listen to him.
It flat out sucks I ended up not being paid, but I said everything I needed to say and he responded with as much as he could.
Don’t be mean to yourself
I know my ego is awake when I think a situation is all about me!
Anytime I get fired up from what someone did or said to me, I watch this lecture with Eckhart Tolle (watch video below – from 1:00- 3:00).
In the video, he explains how we all have unique thoughts and experiences – making us all have various levels of consciousness.
So if you feel frustrated or disappointed by someone, remember what they are doing or saying is based on their level of consciousness. And sometimes you two are on two different levels!
For that person that didn’t pay me – I know I’m not the only one he didn’t pay. I’m sure won’t be the last person. I’m pretty sure he is tight on money and just acting the way that fits his needs – no one else’s.
Understand everyone is doing their best
“We are all doing the best we can with the understanding, knowledge, and awareness we have”. – Louise Hay
Similar to Eckhart Tolle, Louise Hay reminds us how we’re all doing our best based on what we know.
I’ve had many experiences with friends flaking on me, even when they said they would “of course make it!”. I use to wonder if they didn’t like me and just didn’t want to disappoint me by declining my initial invite.
However, some of them have told me that they are horrible at showing up or had no idea that I (or their other friends) cared if they flaked.
So, I’ve learned that they are trying their best to show up with the understanding and awareness they have, and never intentionally trying to disappoint.
Don’t take “everyone is doing their best” as an excuse for people, but rather a way to give you some clarity (and well some sanity).
Good things are to come (and are already here)
Better things, people, and experiences are to come after feeling upset. We really have to feel bad to recognize and feel grateful when we’re blissful.
Every experience is shaping us and teaching us more about life. The more we learn about life, the more we can find (and attract) the right people and situations.
However, don’t entirely suffer through life when you’re feeling upset. Realize the great people, things, and situations you still have.
You can forgive, but don’t have to forget
Forgive for you! I contributed an article to the Wonder Forest on why you always want to forgive. And I really do mean always.
The reason you should and can always forgive is because it’s beneficial for your well-being. You don’t want to hold a grudge.
Forgiving will never mean that the other person won or what they did was justifiable.
How do you usually move past frustration and disappointment? Comment below!
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